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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453342">Showing Passion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhube/pseuds/Rhube'>Rhube</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Complete, Depression, Enemies to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstanding, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:20:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhube/pseuds/Rhube</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(From a kinkmeme prompt)</p><p>Anders has always made comments about Fenris's appearance. Fenris assumes they are mocking and hates it. Things come to a head when Isabela gets Anders to say something as part of a drinking game.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anders/Fenris (Dragon Age)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Showing Passion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: "Write a fic based on and that includes some variation of this sentence: 'Maybe I wasn't clear all this time, let me show you just how sexy I think you are.'"<br/>---<br/>Kinkmeme prompt link: https://dragonage-kink.dreamwidth.org/91059.html?thread=366372787#cmt366372787</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The mage had always been infuriating, but it had gotten worse over the last year.</p><p>Of course, there was his incessant prattling about 'mage rights', but where it had seemed intriguingly foolish (or even willfully perverse) when they had first met, he had now slipped into intransigence. There was little banter to his responses any more.</p><p>But it wasn't just that. He had a tendency towards insincere flattery that had become less amusing as he had otherwise lost his mirth.</p><p>The first time, he had mocked Fenris for demurring on Hawke's description of him as a 'handsome elf'.</p><p>"As if you didn't know what you look like!" Anders had said to him, and then laughed with Isabela. This had been in The Hanged Man, the night when they had cleared out Danarius's mansion. Hawke had persuaded him to retire for a drink with the group, and he had been surprised to find himself so quickly enfolded in their camaraderie.</p><p>He hadn't known, back then, that the mage was an abomination. He had merely considered the man an annoyance. He was used to magisters talking about elves as pretty objects, to be used and abused. Perhaps, he'd thought, Anders was the same. Certainly, his remark didn't have the sincerity of awkwardness that had charmed him in Hawke's unexpected compliment. But then, he and Isabela made a number of jokes about the attractiveness of their companions that night - perhaps he'd meant only to tease.</p><p>When Merrill had let slip that Anders was possessed, Fenris had nearly choked on his ale. He hadn't believed it. He had seen abominations - grotesquely distorted by the demon's interaction with corporeal form. Anders was many things, but not that.</p><p>Genuinely curious, he had raised the question on their next trip out with Hawke, to the Wounded Coast.</p><p>"Did I hear correctly?" he had asked. "You are... an abomination?"</p><p>The mage had... not responded well. But after his righteous posturing, he had somehow turned it round to looks again: "I could never be an abomination," he'd said, sulkily, "The aesthetics would not agree with me. I'd have thought at the least you might have understood *that*."</p><p>"Why? Do you take me for as vain as you?"</p><p>The mage had snorted. "Don't pretend you fall out of bed naturally looking like that!"</p><p>Whatever vanity the mage had once had, it had waned the last few years. His clothes became more tatty, his hair more unkempt, his eyes - always tired.</p><p>Deep in his heart, Fenris had to admit he felt some pity for the man. Whatever deal he had made with Justice, he did sometimes seem to regret it - especially after the incident where he almost killed the very mage he was trying to save.</p><p>Not that Anders made it easy to maintain that sympathy. Teasing comments turned to bitterness and resentment. He could rarely be drawn to talk about anything but the plight of mages anymore. He still turned his eyes frequently to Fenris, but more often than not he would press his lips together and turn away, rather than voicing whatever barbed remark he had prepared.</p><p>His constant regard was becoming more than tiresome.</p><p>And then Isabela had to go and prod the beast. Fenris could have killed her for it!</p><p>It was another night at the Hanged Man. Varric had been teasing the pirate about her so-called 'friend fiction' and she'd caught the mage glaring at Fenris. She'd had... quite a few drinks by that point, it was fair to say.</p><p>"No - no, I tell you, it's fun! See! Look at those two! Imagine if, instead of glaring daggers, the handsome rebel mage were looking soulfully at the brooding elf!"</p><p>Anders stiffened and folded his arms. "Isabela, I'm not in the mood. Can you not?"</p><p>She grinned, impishly. "No, Anders, I don't believe I can! Oh come ooon," she wheedled. "You're no fun anymore. Varric, give him your drink! I want the real Anders to come out to play."</p><p>"Maybe not now..." Varric began, as Anders was saying: "You know I don't drink anymore."</p><p>"No, I know that Ol' Stick In The Mud doesn't <em>want</em> you to drink. If it were your choice, I'd respect it, but you know that it's not!"</p><p>Anders sighed and looked uncertainly at the ale.</p><p>"See," Isabela said. "<em>You</em> want it. You should have it. Come on. Just one!"</p><p>He gave an odd little shake of his head and a strange little smile, then sighed. "OK, just one."</p><p>Varric looked surprised, and Fenris admitted he was intrigued.</p><p>Anders took a sip, and then gasped with both satisfaction and relief. "Look, it's been a really long day, that's all," he said, and Fenris wondered if it was as much a comment to his disapproving mental companion as it was to Isabela's gleeful laughter.</p><p>"Yes, yes, yes!" she clapped. "Just a little bit of fun. You see? It's good to open up once in a while."</p><p>Anders rolled his eyes, but didn't respond, except to take another sip.</p><p>"Now," Isabela went on, "If you could take that impulse and direct it towards, say... Sebastian." She waggled her eyebrows, and Anders groaned while Sebastian in turn was spitting his beer all over the table.</p><p>"That is not..." Sebastian protested, spluttering. "I'm a sworn Brother, I-!"</p><p>Isabela clapped her hands to have gotten a rise. "Ahahaha - yes, that's what makes it so <em>good</em>, so <em>forbidden</em>."</p><p>Varric was laughing now, too. "OK, Rivaini, you've got me there - that's definitely a plot with legs."</p><p>"No - it - no!" Sebastian continued to protest, even getting a chuckle out of Anders.</p><p>"Yes!" Isabela replied, "And - oh, I've just had the best idea. I know what we should do: Fuck, Marry, Push off a Cliff! C'mon, Anders: choose. Sebastian, Fenris, and Hawke."</p><p>"Oh ho," said Hawke, rejoining the conversation as he returned with drinks. "Leave me out of this."</p><p>Isabela was shaking her head. "Uh-uh-uh - and Anders, you have to answer, or drink for each person you don't name."</p><p>Anders snorted. "Don't worry, Hawke - if you weren't already taken, you know I'd marry you."</p><p>Fenris could see where this was going. Of course the mage had easily settled on pushing him off a cliff, and it was obvious he enjoyed making the celibate brother uncomfortable, so...</p><p>"And the rest should be obvious, too. You made it too easy. Fuck Fenris, push Sebastian off a cliff."</p><p>Fenris stared.</p><p>"Oh come on," said Anders. "Like I ever made a secret of that."</p><p>To the background of Isabela's cackles, Fenris felt the blood rise in his face. He was used to the mage's mocking remarks about his appearance, but this was too much.</p><p>"You certainly never made a secret of your disdain," Fenris said, and pushed back from the table. "Hawke is right. This is a tasteless game."</p><p>He walked out of the room and headed to the small yard at the back of the Inn, sucking in the cool night air.</p><p>Perhaps he was over-reacting. He wasn't sure what it was about the mage's jokes that wound him up so. He knew enough now to understand that whatever Anders was, he would not do well in Tevinter, so perhaps it wasn't that Anders shared the casual attitudes of magisters towards elves. Yet the apparent compliments in the context of such general animosity couldn't help but remind him of Danarius - of all his pet names and endearments that meant <em>nothing</em> because he never saw Fenris as a person at all.</p><p>The door opened behind him, and Fenris jumped. He lit his brands as he turned, glaring at the tall shape standing in the light of the doorway.</p><p>"Whoa!" The mage - of course it was the mage. "Maker, Fenris, I just came out to see if you're alright!"</p><p>He let his markings dim, but responded only with a grunt. What did the mage expect him to say to that?</p><p>"Look - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let Isabela rope me into that game, I just..."</p><p>He trailed off, and Fenris rolled his eyes. "You just couldn't leave an opportunity to mock me unused."</p><p>"Mock you?" Anders had stepped a little into the yard, now, and the light from the door showed him blinking in surprise. "I said I wanted to fuck you - that's not mockery. Except against myself, perhaps."</p><p>"Ah yes, of course; it would be a mockery to dirty yourself with an elf."</p><p>Anders looked confused. Sincerely confused. "What? That - that's... what? Fenris, I never pretended that I didn't find you attractive. You've, made it <em>very</em> clear that you're not interested, and I - I should have respected that - but I just... I had a stupid moment when Isabela's silly fantasy got to me and..." the mage's shoulders slumped, "And I shouldn't have done that. Justice is right. This is all a distraction. I just thought... I thought maybe I needed a distraction tonight. I'm sorry. It was... it was stupid."</p><p>It was Fenris's turn to be confused. Not just that the mage appeared to be sincere in his confession of attraction, but... "Were you... flirting with me?"</p><p>Anders laughed - an odd, broken noise. "Very, very badly, it seems."</p><p>"Tonight?" Fenris said, stupidly.</p><p>"Yes, Fenris, tonight. And before. For years. From the moment we met - I... I really didn't think I was being subtle about it."</p><p>"But - but you... you called me a vicious killer - a wild dog!"</p><p>Anders winced. "And you called me weak, and an abomination," he said, quietly. "I never said I don't find you infuriating."</p><p>Anders shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. Maybe I was trying to hide it, in some sense. Justice doesn't approve and... and I didn't think I had any hope anyway. I'm not oblivious to the fact that I'm a pretty piss poor prospect for anyone."</p><p>Now it was Fenris's turn to snort in disbelief. "Please. False modesty does not make you seem authentic, mage."</p><p>Anders frowned. "What - will you pretend now that you <em>don't</em> think I'm an abomination? That you aren't aware what's happening in this city. Where... where my path ends?"</p><p>That was a somewhat disturbing turn of phrase. He wasn't sure if he was trying to lighten the mood, or precisely what he expected to achieve, but Fenris replied: "I never said I didn't find you attractive."</p><p>Whatever else, that was true. He was not oblivious to the mage's handsome features, the intensity of his gaze, his surprisingly athletic build.</p><p>"I just thought you were mocking me," he said. "Magisters say such things to elves all the time, but then they turn around and use us like beasts."</p><p>There was a beat where neither of them said anything. He met Anders's eyes in the dim light, but couldn't read them.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Anders said. "I didn't realise. I tend to make a joke of my feelings. Or I used to. Before Justice. It makes it easier to bear when people turn me down. I never meant to make a joke out of you."</p><p>"So," he said, stepping closer - and suddenly Fenris's heart was beating faster and he wasn't quite sure why. "Maybe I wasn't clear all this time. Let me show you just how sexy I think you are." He raised a hand as though to touch Fenris on the side of his neck, then paused, holding Fenris's gaze.</p><p><em>He is waiting for permission,</em> Fenris realised. Though a connection seemed to hover between them in the air, as though they were already touching.</p><p>Without looking away from Anders' gaze, Fenris nodded, and Anders' warm palm pressed against the side and back of his neck - drew him closer.</p><p>Anders' breath was warm on his cheek, and he could smell the bitter remains of Varric's ale, but it didn't matter.</p><p>When Anders leaned closer and pressed his lips to Fenris's, Fenris pressed back. Allowed his lips to part just a little, so that when Anders kissed him again, he could slip the tip of his tongue inside.</p><p>He was breathing quickly, now, and he could feel the hardening in his leggings. He knew he should respond, but he found he didn't know what to do.</p><p>Anders pulled back. "Are you alright?" he asked.</p><p>"Yes," Fenris said. "I'm sorry - this is... unexpected."</p><p>"Do you want me to stop?"</p><p>Did he?</p><p>"No," he said. And this time Fenris stepped forward into Anders' embrace - ran his hand up into Anders' hair and pulled him down.</p><p>After a startled moment, Anders responded, and he grunted with evident pleasure when Fenris pushed him back against the brick of the inn wall and pushed the door of the yard closed.</p><p>Anders started laughing, but the noise was breathless and happy, and Fenris knew that it was not mocking now.</p><p>Fenris pressed against him and felt Anders' cock rub hard against his own.</p><p>The mage made a noise that rang with pleasure and need, and his mouth moved hungrily against Fenris's, but then, after a moment, he pushed back, panting.</p><p>"I - umm - I'm not sure the back yard of the Hanged Man is the best place to do this," he said. "But I - I really want to do this. I just... if Isabela found us..."</p><p>Fenris's eyes widened.</p><p>His cock was straining in his pants, but he knew Anders was right.</p><p>"We could leave," Anders said, catching Fenris's hand, his eyes begging.</p><p>"They will wonder where we went," Fenris said. It wasn't a 'no'.</p><p>"Mmm," Anders grunted, "I suppose they will."</p><p>"Perhaps, just... a moment to breathe."</p><p>"Mmmm." Anders agreed, and Fenris collapsed beside him, leaning against the wall.</p><p>For a time, they just stood there, together, holding hands and breathing the cool night air. And Fenris thought about the way Anders had been looking at him this evening, and the things he had been saying lately.</p><p>"Are you alright, mage?" he asked.</p><p>"I will be," Anders said. "I just need to catch my breath."</p><p>"No," Fenris said. "Not that. Earlier, you said you'd had a bad day. You said you didn't have any hope."</p><p>Anders chuckled, but it sounded a little forced. "Well, I suppose I was wrong about that."</p><p>"Mage..."</p><p>With the door closed he couldn't see Anders' face well, but it seemed to Fenris that the mage closed his eyes.</p><p>"I told you: it isn't going well in this city. It isn't going well for me - for mages..." He paused, and at first Fenris didn't think he would continue, but then he went on. "Sometimes I barely feel like there's any me left, and... it's important, this work. I know you don't agree with it, but... She'll kill them all, if I don't do something. If I don't do enough. And sometimes it seems worth it. If I can save these people. But sometimes... sometimes..." he squeezed Fenris's hand. "Sometimes I remember what it's like to want to be free myself."</p><p>And Fenris understood. Anders was trapped in this city. As trapped as Fenris was, waiting for Danarius to make his final attack. It wasn't enough to call yourself free if you couldn't live like that.</p><p>Fenris squeezed his hand back. "I'll walk you home," he said. "We don't have to go back and sit with the others."</p><p>Anders snorted. "You know what Isabela will say about that."</p><p>Fenris shrugged. "Let her. Maybe it won't be true tonight, but I think it will be soon."</p><p>At that, Anders laughed. "Is that a promise?"</p><p>Fenris smiled. "If you want it to be."</p>
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